2) Unmasking Love Bombing: The Hidden Manipulation

Not sure if he's a narcissist? Download the Red Flag checklist to find out.

https://subscribepage.io/ETXiLU

Disclaimer: F**k Your Fake Apology* is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content of this podcast is based on personal experiences, psychological insights, and general knowledge about narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. This podcast is NOT a substitute for professional therapy, legal, or medical advice. If you are in an abusive situation, please seek support from a licensed professional or a trusted resource.

Some topics discussed may be triggering. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please reach out to a crisis hotline or emergency services. Your safety and well-being are the top priority.

This podcast includes storytelling inspired by real experiences, but names, locations, and details have been changed for privacy and creative purposes. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

© [2025] Unapologetic Living LLC. All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or use of any part of this podcast without express written permission is strictly prohibited.

keywords

love bombing, narcissism, emotional manipulation, red flags, relationships, healing, self-worth, validation, boundaries, recovery

summary

In this episode of 'Fuck Your Fake Apology', host Crystal Amoah delves into the concept of love bombing, a manipulative tactic often employed by narcissists. She explains the stages of love bombing, the psychological effects it has on individuals, and how to identify red flags in relationships. Crystal emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and offers guidance on healing and recovery from such experiences, encouraging listeners to reclaim their self-worth and seek genuine connections.

takeaways

• Love bombing is a tactic used by narcissists to gain control.
• It often starts with intense affection and attention.
• The initial phase can feel like a whirlwind romance.
• As the relationship progresses, affection diminishes, leading to confusion.
• Understanding the stages of love bombing can help protect oneself.
• Narcissists exploit the brain's craving for validation.
• Red flags include too much attention too soon and constant contact.
• Real love develops gradually and does not rush.
• Setting boundaries is crucial in relationships.
• Healing from love bombing involves reclaiming your narrative and self-worth.

titles

Unmasking Love Bombing: The Hidden Manipulation

Sound Bites

• "Real love grows steadily."
• "You deserve real love."

Chapters

00:00
Introduction to Love Bombing

02:59
Understanding the Stages of Love Bombing

05:51
The Psychological Impact of Love Bombing

08:52
Identifying Red Flags in Relationships

12:00
Healing and Recovery from Love Bombing

Transcript

Crystal Amoah (00:06)
Hey queens and warriors, welcome back to Fuck Your Fake Apology. I'm your host, Crystal.

Hey queens and warriors, welcome to Fuck Your Fake Apology. I'm your host, Crystal, and if you're just joining us, you're about to get a serious dose of real talk. For those of you who tuned in last week, you already know we kicked things off with a wild ride that was Vanessa's introduction to Mr. Charming. But today, we're going to be getting into some real shit. The kind of stuff that make you stop and think twice about those first few dates, those sweet texts.

and all the attention that made you feel like you were the center of someone's universe. That, my loves, is what we call love bombing. And today we're breaking it down. What it is, how it works, and why it's not the romantic whirlwind you think it is. Trust me, I've been there. And I wanna make sure you don't fall for the same trap. So, grab your tea, wine, or weed, and get comfortable because this time we're gonna get into some real

red flags early on.

All right, so let's talk about love bombing. The weapon of choice for narcissists and manipulators. It's that phase where everything seems perfect. The flowers, the constant attention, the good morning, beautiful texts, the compliments that are just nonstop. And you're thinking, damn, like I hit the damn jackpot. It's like they're checking out every single box of your dream partner. But here's the kicker. Love bombing isn't about love.

It's really about control. Narcissists, and trust me, I know this first hand, use love bombing to reel you in, to get you hooked fast. They want you to feel like you're the most important person in the world. So you become emotionally dependent on them because once you're hooked, that's when they really start flipping the script. Now, let me take you back to Vanessa's story real

Do you remember when Mr. Charming came into her life? He was all in from the start, texting her all day, checking in constantly, telling her how amazing he was, how he never met someone like her before, and for a minute there, she was just like eating it up. I mean, like who wouldn't, right? It felt like she had finally been seen. You know the feeling. Finally, someone who got her, who's putting in the true effort. But here's where things get tricky.

that kind of over the top affection doesn't last forever and it's not meant to because love bombing is designed to suck you in, make you super dependent on that validation. So when it starts to disappear, when those texts slow down, the compliments start to disappear, when they stop showing up like they used to, you start to ask yourself, what the hell did I did wrong? And queens, let me tell you right now, it's not you. It was never you, it's them.

working to create that emotional roller coaster. So, how can we, let's try to break this down a little bit, shall we? Because love bombing occurs in stages, and understanding these stages is crucial to protecting yourself from falling into this trap again, or for the first time if you're new to the game. Excuse me. So stage one, the bombing. This is when they lay it on thick. We're talking about grand gestures, constant tension over the top.

Affection they'll make fast moves talking about the future making plans. Maybe even throwing around the L word You know way too soon and because it feels so damn good you start to let your guard down You think this is this must be love and now, know, Vanessa did disclose some vulnerability with me She did tell me she told him she loved him first and this is quote I remember like she said she was in San Diego was a conference and she'd have

to be under the influence of the California Bud, you know what I mean? And he was checking in on her. He said something sweet and she recalls saying, that's so sweet. I love you. And thinking, you know, her first thought was, shit, like maybe he didn't hear me. But apparently he did. And at the time, she did love him. You know, she loved how he treated her and how he made her feel. And she, you know, she said it. So, you know, stage two.

of this is going to be the hook. And here's where they've got you. You're hooked on the attention, the compliments, the promises, all the, know, and then those things start to slow down because they always do. And you're left wondering what changed. And this is where the manipulation comes in.

You start thinking something like you did something wrong. Maybe you weren't attentive enough. Maybe you were asking too much, you know. But the reality is they were never going to keep up that level of affection. It was just the bait, that fishing bait that they tend to do. And. It's it's not you. It's a common tactic that is always used and it happens in these stages. You know, and the next stage is going to be the shift.

stage three. So once they've got you hooked on this fish hook, they start pulling it back. The calls, the texts that came like clockwork, they're less frequent now. The sweet compliments, they start to get replaced with subtle criticisms. And suddenly, you're doing this frickin mental gymnastics trying to figure out what you did wrong. How can you fix things? But this my loves is the game. They want you off balance.

always chasing that high they gave you in the beginning. It's like a drug addict, right? Or I shouldn't say that, a substance abuser, someone who suffers from substance abuse. They're constantly chasing the high. And when I say substance abuse, I mean heroin or cocaine. It's like you want that constant high, and that's what this abuse is like. You're chasing the high, that high you got from the beginning. And stage four is the return. The return, the return.

And just when you're ready to walk away, you've had enough of their distance and the coldness and boom, they're back. The sweet message, a surprise gift, a compliment out of nowhere. And for a second, you think maybe we're back on track, but that's not what's happening. What you're expecting is intermittent reinforcement. They're giving you just enough to keep you around, to keep you chasing that feeling.

the cycle is already in motion and it's not going to stop until you decide to walk away.

So, like, why do they even love bomb? Let's break this down even further. Narcissists love to love bomb because it's an amazing tool of manipulation. But the reason it works so damn well is that our brains are wired to crave validation. When someone showers you with love and attention, your brain releases dopamine, AKA the feel-good hormone. That rush you get?

It's real, it's powerful, and it makes you want more. So when that attention suddenly fades, you're left feeling empty and craving that high again. And that's where they get you hooked. And why do we fall for it, you might be asking? How did I not see it? Well, ladies, that's because the brain, no, that's because manipulation is subtle and our brains get tricked by this kind of emotional roller coaster.

Especially if you're someone who's been craving validation for a long time. Maybe from past relationships or even childhood. Narcissists know this and they exploit it. I have no idea how they know it, but they do. And when someone finally comes along who seems to get it right, you latch on because, you know, you want that validation. But let me tell you something. Come on, queen. Like when someone moves too fast, when they seem too

Perfect. That's a sign. It's a big old red flag waving in our face It's a red flag So an example from Vanessa's story, you know I can't tell how many times Vanessa went through that cycle with mr. Charming, right? She disclosed the first time she got a backhanded compliment to me. It was noticed at first but then You know, she had to think like but that fucker just insult me

And when she did realize it, he did, you know, after playing his whole words in her head over and over, she thought, what the hell did I do? She found herself bending over backwards to make him happy again, trying to recreate those early days. But it was never really about her, as you're aware. It was about control. And she recalls he never was one to do the typical, you know, text all day and pull back, at least, you know, not that she could recall, but...

just know that that is a very typical behavior of narcissists. They'll text, stop texting, pulling back, make you wonder what's going on. It's just that jerkish, emotional rollercoaster feeling.

So, let's see queens, we need to talk about these red flags, right? What are we gonna look for? So, what you need to watch out for, because love bombing can be sneaky. It can feel like love in the beginning, but once you know the signs, you'll start to see it for what it truly is. One, too much too soon. If someone is telling you they're in love within the first couple of weeks, if they're talking about the future before you even had a chance to really know each other,

Let's assign some things off, because real relationships take time to build. Love bombers want to move fast because they don't want to give you time to think. 2. Constant contact. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the amount of attention you're getting, whether it's texts, calls, emails, it's worth taking a step back. At first, it feels flattering, but it can quickly turn into control.

If you're constantly feeling the need to respond immediately, or if they get you upset when you don't, that's a red flag. Or no, if they get upset when you don't, that's a red flag. Three, intense flattery. Compliments are great, but when someone is constantly telling you how amazing, perfect, or special you are,

especially in the early stages, that's a tactic to make you feel dependent on their validation. Four, love bombing versus real love. Real love grows steadily. It doesn't rush in with grand gestures and promises of forever in a week. Real love is steady, patient, and it doesn't leave you questioning your work.

So what can you do to protect yourself?

What do you do if you're worried about being love-bombed? The first thing you can do is set some boundaries. If someone's moving too fast, it's okay to ask them to slow down because real love isn't rushed. And if they can't respect your boundaries, that's your sign to peace out and walk away. Okay? So now we have to talk about like that recovery and healing. And for those of you who have already been love-bombed and are trying to pick up pieces, let me tell you this.

It's not easy, but it's possible to heal. You start by reclaiming your narrative. You are not, you know, the person they made you to believe you were. You're way stronger than that. And you need to spend time with people who genuinely care for you. Start journaling. Get back to hobbies that make you feel like you. This isn't the end of your story. It's the start of your comeback. I promise, stay strong. You've got this.

And that's it for today, quick little snippet of, you know, the whole love bombing charade. My queens. So, you know, love bombing might feel like a whirlwind romance, but once you see the red flags, you'll never fall for it again. Next week, we're going to be diving into the push-pull dynamic, AKA how they keep you hooked with a little bit of love and a whole lot of manipulation.

Trust me, it's gonna be a wild ride. But remember, your worth isn't determined by anyone's fake apology. You deserve real love. So until next time, stay strong, stay bold. Don't let anyone make you feel less than you are, queen, because you are amazing. And don't forget, if you're dealing with any of this right now, you're not alone. Reach out to me on social media or join this conversation with other queens who've been through it, because we are so much stronger when we stand together.

So take care of yourselves and we'll talk next week. Bye.